october 2012 – monthly theme post – obsessed with babies

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Monthly Theme Posts 2012 Contributions March 2012 – Breastfeeding April 2012 – Parenting Styles June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building August 2012 – Screen Time September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies November 2012 – Traditions December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood 2013 Contributions January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From? February 2013 – Planning Ahead March 2013 – high standards april 2013 – NIAW may 2013 – body image

2012 Contributions March 2012 – Breastfeeding April 2012 – Parenting Styles June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building August 2012 – Screen Time September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies November 2012 – Traditions December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood

March 2012 – Breastfeeding

April 2012 – Parenting Styles

June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now

July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building

August 2012 – Screen Time

September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving

October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies

November 2012 – Traditions

December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood

2013 Contributions January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From? February 2013 – Planning Ahead March 2013 – high standards april 2013 – NIAW may 2013 – body image

January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From?

February 2013 – Planning Ahead

March 2013 – high standards

april 2013 – NIAW

may 2013 – body image

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June 25, 2013

This month’s theme title is “Obsessed with Babies”. I cannot type the word “obsessed” without hearing the Mariah Carey song of that name. Such a good song…shut up! I also like ‘Dave Matthews’ and ‘Dropkick Murphys’ go ahead and judge my musical tastes!

But I digress…this month’s theme is something that has been on my mind lately. Prior to having our kiddo I was already very interested in early childhood development, particularly infant development. Infertility and being a foster parent only strengthened those interests. I want to know E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G about babies and how they develop. Anything from how to best introduce solids, baby sign language, baby wearing, language development, sleep needs, it goes on…

But what has most especially been on my brain of late is the choices we make, or don’t make, once we get the IF diagnosis and become parents. For me, and maybe for many of you, the IF diagnosis shifted the axis of my reality. I always wanted to be a Mom, but after learning we would struggle to have kids, it became ALL I wanted. We’ve always wanted to travel, and possibly work abroad, but now it became a question of ‘would that inhibit our ability to have kids?’ I have a master’s degree and have always wanted to go back for a PhD. And I have had a really good idea for a dissertation topic. But now with Stella in our life I worry if I enter into a PhD program would that restrict our ability to try for more kids? A PhD program is demanding, and while it’s not fair, the fact is, it is more constricting on a woman who wants a family. Most women are advised to not have children until they are at least in the writing stage of their program, which takes about 2-3 years to get to. I worry if I did enroll in such a program the demands would make me have to choose, PhD, or more kids, but not both at the same time. And would I need to put Stella in daycare to go back to school? Another thing I can’t even consider right now.

Every decision I make, always goes back to the thought ‘how will this affect our child and any future kids we want?’ Perhaps this is a thought every parent has, ALI or not, but I think it rings especially true for us ALI-ers. And so I obsess. Literally. I run through a million different scenarios in my head of how many children I think I want, when should we start trying again, what if we struggle again for years, what if we can’t have anymore? I obsess.

I don’t have answers yet. I know I want more kids, and that for me, is part of the obsession. But I have to be honest with myself, I have to also admit that part of me also obsesses over the ‘other’. The what else I could be doing if I hadn’t been stuck with this IF diagnosis. If we could just get preggo without worry and treatments would I feel freer to pursue further education or other interests in my life? Would the urge to be uber-Mom be as strong?

Here is a little musical inspiration for you as you consider the writing prompts below:

This topic can be taken many ways, and maybe for you your response is a lack of resonating with this topic, but here are some prompts to get you started:

Since traveling the ALI journey have you found yourself “obsessing” over all things babies?

Do you find yourself researching all things child-related, from toys, to food choices, to child-raising methodologies?

What choices have you made, or not made, as a result of your ALI journey?

Do you obsess over your child’s health, development, socialization, etc?

Do you obsess over adding to your family?

Feel free to write your own spin on this, using the prompts or not. Entries are due by Wednesday October 24th at midnight. The full list of links will be posted on Thursday, October 25th. Fill out the form below to submit your post.

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J o s e y says: October 18, 2012 at 9:17 AM Oooohhh. I’m not even sure where to begin on this topic. Will think some THOUGHTS and start writing. Reply

Oooohhh. I’m not even sure where to begin on this topic. Will think some THOUGHTS and start writing.

SRB says: October 18, 2012 at 9:48 AM I wasn’t sure what this topic would look like fleshed out when I first saw it in the spreadsheet…but I’m thinking about it in a totally different and unexpected way. Lots to think about. Reply

I wasn’t sure what this topic would look like fleshed out when I first saw it in the spreadsheet…but I’m thinking about it in a totally different and unexpected way. Lots to think about.

metholic says: October 18, 2012 at 10:57 AM What? No comments about my AWESOME musical tastes? I made the DH listen to this song like 10 times while I was writing it, he luuuuuurves it now. Or hates. It’s a fine line. Reply J o s e y says: October 18, 2012 at 6:47 PM Dude, I had a life sized poster of Mariah on my wall in the 90s. Luuuuurved her. Reply

What? No comments about my AWESOME musical tastes? I made the DH listen to this song like 10 times while I was writing it, he luuuuuurves it now. Or hates. It’s a fine line.

J o s e y says: October 18, 2012 at 6:47 PM Dude, I had a life sized poster of Mariah on my wall in the 90s. Luuuuurved her. Reply

Dude, I had a life sized poster of Mariah on my wall in the 90s. Luuuuurved her.

chon says: October 18, 2012 at 11:59 AM Oh goodness my crazies are going to come out now….. Reply metholic says: October 18, 2012 at 1:21 PM Bring it! Reply

Oh goodness my crazies are going to come out now…..

metholic says: October 18, 2012 at 1:21 PM Bring it! Reply

Bring it!

Mandski says: October 23, 2012 at 9:57 AM I just wanted to encourage you to do that phd someday! Maybe not right now, but someday. My mom earned an MD with 3 kids and my MIL earned a phd with a couple. Phd programs are far more flexible than most graduate programs Reply Ms. Future PharmD says: October 23, 2012 at 5:33 PM I agree! One of the women in my PharmD class is mom to now 7 (2 stepkids in college, senior in high school, and 4 in elementary school/diapers), including a baby. You can do it! And, I personally think it’s beneficial for kids to see parents reach their dreams through hard work. Reply

I just wanted to encourage you to do that phd someday! Maybe not right now, but someday. My mom earned an MD with 3 kids and my MIL earned a phd with a couple. Phd programs are far more flexible than most graduate programs

Ms. Future PharmD says: October 23, 2012 at 5:33 PM I agree! One of the women in my PharmD class is mom to now 7 (2 stepkids in college, senior in high school, and 4 in elementary school/diapers), including a baby. You can do it! And, I personally think it’s beneficial for kids to see parents reach their dreams through hard work. Reply

I agree! One of the women in my PharmD class is mom to now 7 (2 stepkids in college, senior in high school, and 4 in elementary school/diapers), including a baby. You can do it! And, I personally think it’s beneficial for kids to see parents reach their dreams through hard work.

Missy says: October 24, 2012 at 8:23 PM I have a PhD and grad school is probably the easiest time to have a baby. I don’t know who is telling you to wait until the writing stage, but I see no reason to wait. In my experience, there is no “good” time to have a baby for someone who also wants a career. You just do it and find a way to make it work. Reply

I have a PhD and grad school is probably the easiest time to have a baby. I don’t know who is telling you to wait until the writing stage, but I see no reason to wait. In my experience, there is no “good” time to have a baby for someone who also wants a career. You just do it and find a way to make it work.

Baby Crazy « All the Sun For You says: October 18, 2012 at 3:49 PM [...] post is my contribution to the monthly theme post over at PAIL. The timing of this was unreal – I woke up this morning knowing that I wanted to write [...] Reply

[...] post is my contribution to the monthly theme post over at PAIL. The timing of this was unreal – I woke up this morning knowing that I wanted to write [...]

weekly summary, vol. 20 – PAIL Bloggers says: October 19, 2012 at 9:34 AM [...] got us going on October’s Monthly Theme Post on– get this– “Obsessed with Babies.” It’s not as simple as it sounds, and almost anyone who has dealt with infertility and [...] Reply

[...] got us going on October’s Monthly Theme Post on– get this– “Obsessed with Babies.” It’s not as simple as it sounds, and almost anyone who has dealt with infertility and [...]

My public speaking debut « Happily Ever After says: October 19, 2012 at 4:28 PM [...] you are up one day and down the next day. How you want to give up at points, how you go through baby crazy periods where your life is all about what you can do to get said baby into your house. How your [...] Reply

[...] you are up one day and down the next day. How you want to give up at points, how you go through baby crazy periods where your life is all about what you can do to get said baby into your house. How your [...]

Obsessed with Babies « R. Sativus says: October 20, 2012 at 10:14 PM [...] October monthly theme post is obsessed with babies. A topic I actually have something to say [...] Reply

[...] October monthly theme post is obsessed with babies. A topic I actually have something to say [...]

Obsessed by All Things Baby | Survive and Thrive says: October 22, 2012 at 11:17 AM [...] This month’s PAIL theme post is “obsessed with babies”. Yip, that would be me. [...] Reply

[...] This month’s PAIL theme post is “obsessed with babies”. Yip, that would be me. [...]

Obsessed with Babies « My Cheap Version of Therapy says: October 23, 2012 at 9:46 AM [...] PAIL Monthly Theme Post topic for October is “Obsessed with Babies.” Chanrda posted some great topic starter ideas in her post on this last week – feel [...] Reply

[...] PAIL Monthly Theme Post topic for October is “Obsessed with Babies.” Chanrda posted some great topic starter ideas in her post on this last week – feel [...]

Cure for an obsession: get another one. « No Baby Ruth says: October 24, 2012 at 2:51 PM [...] extent.” I know that I might be splitting hairs with this one, but I had a really tough time with this topic. I think we all tend to be a bit hard on ourselves anyway. Assigning the title “obsessive” to a [...] Reply

[...] extent.” I know that I might be splitting hairs with this one, but I had a really tough time with this topic. I think we all tend to be a bit hard on ourselves anyway. Assigning the title “obsessive” to a [...]

Obsessed with Motherhood? | Full Bed says: October 24, 2012 at 10:23 PM [...] monthly theme post coincides with a blogging salon on what is, in my mind, a related topic. Today in the salon, Pamela [...] Reply

[...] monthly theme post coincides with a blogging salon on what is, in my mind, a related topic. Today in the salon, Pamela [...]

to mum or not to mum | Life Begins says: October 24, 2012 at 11:18 PM [...] have a lot I want to write about. There have been some interesting topics being thrown around with PAIL asking about an obsession with babies to today’s Open Salon question “the queendom of [...] Reply

[...] have a lot I want to write about. There have been some interesting topics being thrown around with PAIL asking about an obsession with babies to today’s Open Salon question “the queendom of [...]

You Crazy, Baby….. | Mommyhood after Fertility Frustration says: October 25, 2012 at 2:58 AM [...] OH yes….baby obsession. When I first read the October PAIL monthly theme, I actually snorted with laughter. Which was kind of funny since I was pretty much sobbing [...] Reply

[...] OH yes….baby obsession. When I first read the October PAIL monthly theme, I actually snorted with laughter. Which was kind of funny since I was pretty much sobbing [...]

Obsessed by Babies | One Step At a Time says: March 28, 2013 at 4:47 PM [...] This month’s PAIL theme post is “obsessed with babies”. Yip, that would be me. [...] Reply

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