january 2013 – monthly theme post – “where do babies come from?”

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Monthly Theme Posts 2012 Contributions March 2012 – Breastfeeding April 2012 – Parenting Styles June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building August 2012 – Screen Time September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies November 2012 – Traditions December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood 2013 Contributions January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From? February 2013 – Planning Ahead March 2013 – high standards April 2013 – NIAW May 2013 – Body Image June 2013 – Looking Back August 2013 – Feeding Your Child September 2013 – Why We Blog October 2013 – Birth Story November 2013 – How Long Is Your Leash?

2012 Contributions March 2012 – Breastfeeding April 2012 – Parenting Styles June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building August 2012 – Screen Time September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies November 2012 – Traditions December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood

March 2012 – Breastfeeding

April 2012 – Parenting Styles

June 2012 – Father’s Day: Then & Now

July 2012 – Considerations on Family Building

August 2012 – Screen Time

September 2012 – Guilt & Grieving

October 2012 – Obsessed With Babies

November 2012 – Traditions

December 2012 – Balancing Life, Work and Parenthood

2013 Contributions January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From? February 2013 – Planning Ahead March 2013 – high standards April 2013 – NIAW May 2013 – Body Image June 2013 – Looking Back August 2013 – Feeding Your Child September 2013 – Why We Blog October 2013 – Birth Story November 2013 – How Long Is Your Leash?

January 2013 – Where Do Babies Come From?

February 2013 – Planning Ahead

March 2013 – high standards

April 2013 – NIAW

May 2013 – Body Image

June 2013 – Looking Back

August 2013 – Feeding Your Child

September 2013 – Why We Blog

October 2013 – Birth Story

November 2013 – How Long Is Your Leash?

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December 15, 2013

About 6 weeks ago, I was at the local community centre with HGB for Toddler RunAroundLikeABansheeonFire Gym, and a little girl started talking to me. She informed me that she was 3, had hair, was a big girl, could use the potty, had a dog, and disliked pants. Right on, young lady!

And then she said “Why is your belly so fat?”

Errrrrrrm… I briefly contemplated confessing my actual vs. admitted cheese intake, but opted for “Because there is a baby in there!”

I think I blew her mind. She looked back and forth between my face and my belly a few times before asking the inevitable: “How did it get in there?”

*CUE PANIC* I’ve taught sex education… in high school. I don’t know how to talk to a 3 year old about anything and now I have done a cannon ball into the “Where do babies come from?” conversation?!? I asked her if her parents were with her and she said she came with her nanny. So I crouched down and told her this:

“When you get home later, remember to ask your Daddy that question, okay?”

“OKAY!” she says, and runs away.

Crisis averted! And you’re welcome , That Kid’s dad.

Two weeks ago, Jules highlighted a “ news article” about how us infertiles are just wildly overbreeding, and that some day we are going to have awkward conversation explaining that to our 14 children.

All together now: ARGH! WTF! ARRRRGGGGGH!

But… it did raise a good point. Eventually, maybe even already, our kids are going to want to know where babies come from. It might be prudent to have a loose plan in place. Have you started to plan your plan? Because, uh, I haven’t, but it turns out these little people want to know things a lot earlier than I guessed.

After Jules posted that article, we got an email from April @ R. Sativus discussing how each and every one of us has a unique set of circumstances as to how our children came to be in our lives. She wondered how others have handled, have planned to handle, or have even thought about handling discussing their family building with their children. I was wondering the same thing after reading that article and posted the first few resources that popped into my head in the comments. But April really got *me* thinking… how am I going to handle this? What am I going to say, and when? Will I burst into flames or will I be a mature parent about it? I should probably plan for a plan! And lo, this month’s theme post topic was born.

Have you thought about when your child(ren) might ask the “Where do babies come from”" question and what you might say? Do you plan to talk to them about ALI in general in an age-appropriate way at that time, or wait until they are older? When they ask? Have you thought about sharing your specific infertility/loss experience and treatments with your child(ren)? Why or why not? If you brought your child home through adoption, what will this process look like for you? Have you previously written on this topic? Do you consider the gender of your children to be important in what you share about your unique set of circumstances? Why or why not? How do imagine your thoughts on this topic might evolve over time? Do you have any tips or advice on how to make this topic (general reproduction and/or as it relates to the ALI journey) age-appropriate? Do you have any resources (links, books, podcasts) etc. that you could share in the comments to add to our Resources page?

Have you thought about when your child(ren) might ask the “Where do babies come from”" question and what you might say?

Do you plan to talk to them about ALI in general in an age-appropriate way at that time, or wait until they are older? When they ask?

Have you thought about sharing your specific infertility/loss experience and treatments with your child(ren)? Why or why not?

If you brought your child home through adoption, what will this process look like for you? Have you previously written on this topic?

Do you consider the gender of your children to be important in what you share about your unique set of circumstances? Why or why not?

How do imagine your thoughts on this topic might evolve over time?

Do you have any tips or advice on how to make this topic (general reproduction and/or as it relates to the ALI journey) age-appropriate?

Do you have any resources (links, books, podcasts) etc. that you could share in the comments to add to our Resources page?

As always, these questions are just a guide. Please feel free to write anything and everything you would like to on this topic in whichever way suits you best. If you have previously written on this topic, feel free to link away in your post, or submit any previous post on the topic as you see fit. And of course, if you do not have a blog of your own, we are happy to hear your thoughts in the comments and will link to your comment in the full post list for all to read.

Entries for this month’s theme are due Monday, January 21st at midnight, EST . The full list of links will go live on Tuesday, January 22.

Please submit your posts using this form:

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Courtney says: January 15, 2013 at 5:34 PM Great topic! I’m excited about this theme post! Reply

Great topic! I’m excited about this theme post!

Gemini Momma says: January 15, 2013 at 11:50 PM Wow this is a great one… for once you may have me at a loss for words. Looking forward to reading everyone’s thoughts! Reply SRB says: January 16, 2013 at 12:04 PM Oh YOU! You always say that… I’m looking forward to *your* post. Reply

Wow this is a great one… for once you may have me at a loss for words. Looking forward to reading everyone’s thoughts!

SRB says: January 16, 2013 at 12:04 PM Oh YOU! You always say that… I’m looking forward to *your* post. Reply

Oh YOU! You always say that… I’m looking forward to *your* post.

weekly summary, vol. 32 – PAIL Bloggers says: January 19, 2013 at 7:03 AM [...] Monthly Theme Post, courtesy of the fabulous SRB, is all about where babies come from. How and when do you plan on discussing your particular journey to parenthood with your child? Come [...] Reply

[...] Monthly Theme Post, courtesy of the fabulous SRB, is all about where babies come from. How and when do you plan on discussing your particular journey to parenthood with your child? Come [...]

the monday snapshot – SRB – PAIL Bloggers says: January 21, 2013 at 10:11 AM [...] January Theme Posts (“Where Do Babies Come From?“) are due TONIGHT at [...] Reply

[...] January Theme Posts (“Where Do Babies Come From?“) are due TONIGHT at [...]

where do babies come from? | little chicken nuggets says: January 21, 2013 at 3:23 PM [...] January 2013 Theme: Where Do Babies Come From? [...] Reply

[...] January 2013 Theme: Where Do Babies Come From? [...]

where do babies come from? « My Cheap Version of Therapy says: January 21, 2013 at 4:10 PM [...] to PAIL’s Monthly Theme post topic for January, “Where Do Babies Come From?” Click here to join [...] Reply

[...] to PAIL’s Monthly Theme post topic for January, “Where Do Babies Come From?” Click here to join [...]

what makes a baby? « My Cheap Version of Therapy says: January 21, 2013 at 4:12 PM [...] to PAIL’s Monthly Theme post topic for January, “Where Do Babies Come From?” Click here to join [...] Reply

Where Our Babies Come From – PAIL Monthly Theme Post « All the Sun For You says: January 21, 2013 at 4:24 PM [...] post is my contribution to the PAIL Monthly Theme Post. For more information about PAIL, please click here. Everyone is welcome to read, write, and [...] Reply

[...] post is my contribution to the PAIL Monthly Theme Post. For more information about PAIL, please click here. Everyone is welcome to read, write, and [...]

It wasn’t a stork…. | Mommyhood after Fertility Frustration says: January 21, 2013 at 6:50 PM [...] I read the PAIL Monthly Theme Post, I was on vacation. I was without my lap top. I was unable to jump at this topic. “Where do [...] Reply

[...] I read the PAIL Monthly Theme Post, I was on vacation. I was without my lap top. I was unable to jump at this topic. “Where do [...]

Where Do Babies Come From? « R. Sativus says: January 21, 2013 at 10:39 PM [...] PAIL’s January monthly theme for posts is “where do babies come from?” [...] Reply

[...] PAIL’s January monthly theme for posts is “where do babies come from?” [...]

Where do babies come from? One infertile’s story says: January 23, 2013 at 11:18 AM [...] love this writing prompt from the PAIL bloggers group: Where do babies come [...] Reply

[...] love this writing prompt from the PAIL bloggers group: Where do babies come [...]

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